Why I need to stop going on Pinterest: A confession

I gotta stop going on Pinterest. Not for the average reason either. Most people think of Pinterest as the place where you see all the super hard recipes done to perfection and all the impossible craft projects and organization hints from people who make Martha Stewart look like a slacker. The place with the advice you can never live up to, Here’s the thing, though. That’s only true when you first start on Pinterest. Once you start following boards you actually like (Not the one with all the grey sweaters they recommend at first either) your feed will stop being all those 315 layer gluten free rainbow cakes, with the easy 75 step buttercream frosting.

In my case, I like retro things. A lot of retro things. That pic of the speak’n’spell? Repinned. The professor calculator? Repinned, Duh. The sit’n’spin? Repinned even though I’ve already pinned it 3 other times. All of these memories make me regret all the childhood stuff I lost over the years. This makes me want to rebuy the stuff. Now I could get it at the flea market, but they charge too much there especially if they know what it is. I could also get it on ebay, but that takes the fun out of the hunt, and I have to explain the packages to family members. So I go thrifting instead.

Before I enter I’m dreaming of finding so much 80’s goodness. The pink boombox where I recorded so many godawful mixtapes direclty from the radio, the other pink boombox I wanted but never got. A Garfield phone, some authentic retro hello kitty stationery from 1982, a lil’ professor calculator because I didn’t have one of those either…Then of course I get inside and they have none of those things. So I over pay for one of those baggies full of crap because it has a hello kitty puffy pencil box inside, along with a pencil, some soap and some flash cards, I don’t want. When I get home I discover the pencil box is covered in ink and only from 2004 so yeah, maybe not the best impulse purchase.

Every once in a while I get a better find like a Speak and Spell or a trapper keeper, but often I have buyer’s remorse. Like what am I going to do with this fisher price barn exactly? It has none of the little people or things that go inside, and I have no place for it. Maybe my niece and nephew will use it, though it may have weird thrift store germs. Also why did I buy this snoopy sno cone machine? It’s clearly a reproduction and I’m 90% sure it’s the one that got recalled, but still I never had one, and maybe I will risk using it. Where do you get the mix anyway? Oh and where am I going to put this stuff exactly?

So I swear I will not buy anything more unless it’s something I’ve really been on the lookout for. No more reproductions, or super common games you see everywhere, (Uno what I mean?) I will buy only the cool hard to find stuff that is worth money on Ebay from here on out. Of course that doesn’t always work out either. Like the time I found a Speak and Spell. Yes a 50 plus dollar score until I got it home and discovered the battery compartment was corroded and once I cleaned it out and turned it on it seemed to be possessed. Oh well, can’t win em all. This is why I need to stop going on Pinterest.

Here is a video of the possessed speak and spell for your enjoyment. I take no responsibility for any harm this video unleashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFf4bl6kvLk

A few observations about Lisa Frank

So Lisa Frank. I know I must have had some Lisa Frank stuff back in the day, I mean how could I not, everything I loved was encompassed into one line of school supplies, there were pandas, and neon, and kittens, and unicorns, and sparkles. How could I have not owned every Lisa Frank item I could get my hands on?

I have a few theories. One is that I was more loyal to Sanrio. After all they had Hello Kitty and those awesome 5 dollar mystery bags that had epic things inside. I got a purse once. A purse! Another is that Lisa Frank wasn’t really a brand yet, instead her stuff was just known as that generic neon pandas and kittens neon stationery. Also maybe you couldn’t get her at Hallmark stores and I loved Hallmark stores when I was young. They were my jam. Every mall needed a go to where you could stock up on Mrs. Grossman’s stickers and the Hallmark store was it. Drugstores just didn’t have the panache, variety stores were on the way out (and nowhere near me), and dollar stores were not yet a thing.

I think Lisa Frank became more of a phenomenon in the late 80s early 90’s when I was getting older. I was a tween and a teen and trying to grow up and hide my love of sparkles, unicorns and Garfield under plain canvas binders and the same Jansport backpack everyone else had.

Whatever the reason, I keep seeing Lisa Frank nostalgia on Buzzfeed and Lisa Frank binders going for crazy amounts on etsy and ebay. Now I’m thinking I should jump on the bandwagon, and see what Lisa Frank stuff I can find and sell, I know I’ve seen some at Savers, trouble is they keep putting it in those catchall bags along the wall. These bags always contain one mini Lisa Frank notebook, one Charlie Brown eraser with Charlie’s head erased off it, a scuffed plastic ruler that was originally a giveaway, 3 packs of flashcards, a broken stapler covered in mystery slime and dirt, some gross tweezers and a pinback button from the autoworkers union. The price on the bag is 7 dollars and color on the tag is not half off today. The bag must be purchased as a whole, but you can donate the crap you don’t want on the way out.

I guess I could  “accidentally” split open the bag on the sales floor and the Lisa frank notebook could end up loose to hopefully be rebagged with better stuff, but will it still be there the next time I stop by? Is it even a genuine vintage Lisa Frank mini notebook. I think they sell them at the dollar store now and it’s probably one of those anyway. This plan has flaws, serious flaws. I should just forget all about Lisa Frank and go invest in some biotech stocks like a regular adult. Hmmm I wonder if Lisa Frank has a stock. Now that’s an idea.

 

The Environmental Playground

Old yearbook pic doesn't really do it justice.

Old yearbook pic doesn’t really do it justice.

When I was a kid was my first knowledge of the word environmental came from the school’s biggest and most popular playground. It was known as the Environmental Playground. I have no idea how it got this name other than it was made of wood and sat on bark. You would think a 90% wooden playground would be bad for the environment but maybe all those trees had it coming.

There was even one slide there that was entirely made of wood. I don’t know if it was placeholder and they forgot to put a regular slide in or what. Sometimes if you were feeling brave you would risk the splinters, especially if it was a hot day and all the metal ones would burn you. Usually the metal slides were taken over by kids who played hot lava. I forgot how hot lava went exactly but I think you had to climb up the slide and not get knocked down by all the kids trying to push or pull you down. It was violent but so are most kids’ games if you put the children in charge.

The playground was 2 levels and there was an open spot where kids would hurl them off just for the hell of it. One time a kid did this and fell directly on top of me by mistake. Luckily I have strong bones and was fine.

When kids were not hurling themselves off the big playground they would go to one of the other ones and play on the bars and rings. The girls would do things like the cherry drop, and the daddy drop and the double death drop. I am terribly uncoordinated so I never got farther than the daddy drop but that was fine with me. You have to know your limits. I also refused to go down the pole,. So I guess neither firefighting or stripping are in the cards for me.

Every time I pass my old elementary school today, I am glad I grew up back in the day. Now they have one of those super boring looking playgrounds with too much padding everywhere. I kind of wish the old Environmental Playground and I also think it would be a cool band name.

The Forgotten 80’s: Very Special Holiday Episode

Welcome to the realm of the forgotten 80s. A celebration of the fun and the fads that never made it to any cable TV 80’s lovefest. These are the 80’s trends you forgot. At times, it tends to slant towards the girly end of the spectrum but that’s only because I lack a Y chromosome. So anyway sit back, relax, pop open a New York Seltzer and enjoy The Forgotten 80’s.

 

Since it’s the holiday season let’s start things off with the holiday specials you probably forgot all about. Now cue the swirling special logo from CBS. You know the one.

Cabbage patch kids

I remember watching this one about an orphan girl with a leg brace trying to get adopted in time for Christmas. What bugged me throughout the whole special was they never said what the deal with her leg was. They were trying to be politically correct before it was a word, but I wanted to know. Was it a grisly car accident, birth defect, chainsaw mishap? Darn it, I still want to know.

The mouse one

Every year they would show a special about the night before Christmas poem and how it was a mouse who actually saved Christmas. During the climax scene he had to run up a big clock. This one was one of my favorites but they never show it anymore. Sure they will toss up any dreck made in 1962 for nostalgia’s sake but the apparently the 80’s must remain forgotten. Bring back the mouse special!

Christmas with California Raisins.

Yet another classic that needs to be resurrected. I think it featured a sleigh that played the Low Rider. (Though it might have been the Raisins Easter special, I get the 2 confused) I think this was the first time I ever heard that song.

Garfield Christmas

Ahhh Garfield, exalted ruler of all things 1983. We bow down, and wish we still had the phone version of you, and a pair of Garfield slippers, and a stick on stuffed Garfield with its belly faded from spending the entirety of 1987 plastered on the car window right next to the baby on board sign. This holiday special probably led to the Garfield cartoon show and then later U.S. Acres. I bet you totally forgot U.S. Acres didn’t you. That’s what this blog series is for. Bringing back the memories you thought you repressed.

The Punky Brewster Christmas episode.

Not a special but a classic nonetheless. The plot was something about Punky looking for her Mom on Christmas, almost finding her, then totally not finding her mom after all. Or maybe it was Punky’s real dad.  Maybe it’s time to admit this is the only complete episode of Punky Brewster I’ve ever seen. Not sure why I didn’t watch regularly, though I did once copy a popular kid in elementary school and wore 2 different color socks to school. When she did it she was so original and cool but when I try it, I get called Punky Brewster for the rest of the day, or maybe it was the entire week. Yeah this is probably why I didn’t regularly watch Punky Brewster.

There are probably a lot more forgotten 80’s holiday specials. I need to go check out youtube, and maybe make a part 2 of this post.