Why I need to stop going on Pinterest: A confession

I gotta stop going on Pinterest. Not for the average reason either. Most people think of Pinterest as the place where you see all the super hard recipes done to perfection and all the impossible craft projects and organization hints from people who make Martha Stewart look like a slacker. The place with the advice you can never live up to, Here’s the thing, though. That’s only true when you first start on Pinterest. Once you start following boards you actually like (Not the one with all the grey sweaters they recommend at first either) your feed will stop being all those 315 layer gluten free rainbow cakes, with the easy 75 step buttercream frosting.

In my case, I like retro things. A lot of retro things. That pic of the speak’n’spell? Repinned. The professor calculator? Repinned, Duh. The sit’n’spin? Repinned even though I’ve already pinned it 3 other times. All of these memories make me regret all the childhood stuff I lost over the years. This makes me want to rebuy the stuff. Now I could get it at the flea market, but they charge too much there especially if they know what it is. I could also get it on ebay, but that takes the fun out of the hunt, and I have to explain the packages to family members. So I go thrifting instead.

Before I enter I’m dreaming of finding so much 80’s goodness. The pink boombox where I recorded so many godawful mixtapes direclty from the radio, the other pink boombox I wanted but never got. A Garfield phone, some authentic retro hello kitty stationery from 1982, a lil’ professor calculator because I didn’t have one of those either…Then of course I get inside and they have none of those things. So I over pay for one of those baggies full of crap because it has a hello kitty puffy pencil box inside, along with a pencil, some soap and some flash cards, I don’t want. When I get home I discover the pencil box is covered in ink and only from 2004 so yeah, maybe not the best impulse purchase.

Every once in a while I get a better find like a Speak and Spell or a trapper keeper, but often I have buyer’s remorse. Like what am I going to do with this fisher price barn exactly? It has none of the little people or things that go inside, and I have no place for it. Maybe my niece and nephew will use it, though it may have weird thrift store germs. Also why did I buy this snoopy sno cone machine? It’s clearly a reproduction and I’m 90% sure it’s the one that got recalled, but still I never had one, and maybe I will risk using it. Where do you get the mix anyway? Oh and where am I going to put this stuff exactly?

So I swear I will not buy anything more unless it’s something I’ve really been on the lookout for. No more reproductions, or super common games you see everywhere, (Uno what I mean?) I will buy only the cool hard to find stuff that is worth money on Ebay from here on out. Of course that doesn’t always work out either. Like the time I found a Speak and Spell. Yes a 50 plus dollar score until I got it home and discovered the battery compartment was corroded and once I cleaned it out and turned it on it seemed to be possessed. Oh well, can’t win em all. This is why I need to stop going on Pinterest.

Here is a video of the possessed speak and spell for your enjoyment. I take no responsibility for any harm this video unleashes.



A few observations about Lisa Frank

So Lisa Frank. I know I must have had some Lisa Frank stuff back in the day, I mean how could I not, everything I loved was encompassed into one line of school supplies, there were pandas, and neon, and kittens, and unicorns, and sparkles. How could I have not owned every Lisa Frank item I could get my hands on?

I have a few theories. One is that I was more loyal to Sanrio. After all they had Hello Kitty and those awesome 5 dollar mystery bags that had epic things inside. I got a purse once. A purse! Another is that Lisa Frank wasn’t really a brand yet, instead her stuff was just known as that generic neon pandas and kittens neon stationery. Also maybe you couldn’t get her at Hallmark stores and I loved Hallmark stores when I was young. They were my jam. Every mall needed a go to where you could stock up on Mrs. Grossman’s stickers and the Hallmark store was it. Drugstores just didn’t have the panache, variety stores were on the way out (and nowhere near me), and dollar stores were not yet a thing.

I think Lisa Frank became more of a phenomenon in the late 80s early 90’s when I was getting older. I was a tween and a teen and trying to grow up and hide my love of sparkles, unicorns and Garfield under plain canvas binders and the same Jansport backpack everyone else had.

Whatever the reason, I keep seeing Lisa Frank nostalgia on Buzzfeed and Lisa Frank binders going for crazy amounts on etsy and ebay. Now I’m thinking I should jump on the bandwagon, and see what Lisa Frank stuff I can find and sell, I know I’ve seen some at Savers, trouble is they keep putting it in those catchall bags along the wall. These bags always contain one mini Lisa Frank notebook, one Charlie Brown eraser with Charlie’s head erased off it, a scuffed plastic ruler that was originally a giveaway, 3 packs of flashcards, a broken stapler covered in mystery slime and dirt, some gross tweezers and a pinback button from the autoworkers union. The price on the bag is 7 dollars and color on the tag is not half off today. The bag must be purchased as a whole, but you can donate the crap you don’t want on the way out.

I guess I could  “accidentally” split open the bag on the sales floor and the Lisa frank notebook could end up loose to hopefully be rebagged with better stuff, but will it still be there the next time I stop by? Is it even a genuine vintage Lisa Frank mini notebook. I think they sell them at the dollar store now and it’s probably one of those anyway. This plan has flaws, serious flaws. I should just forget all about Lisa Frank and go invest in some biotech stocks like a regular adult. Hmmm I wonder if Lisa Frank has a stock. Now that’s an idea.